Trump Gets His Time Cover

Donald Trump isn’t happy that he is not a lock for Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2017 so he took his marbles and went home. However, sympathetic Americans came up with their own covers for him. He will be proud but not outdone. Hanging in his golf resorts is a fake Time cover with Trump’s smiling face there and headlines promising a glowing report inside of his prowess. Click on the photos below to see them in full size. JH

Merry, Merry Christmas

By Jim Hagarty
2017

I am not on board with the annual “war on Christmas” complainers who somehow actually think that Christianity is under assault in North America. If the religion is under attack by anybody, the insurgency is coming from within. People calling themselves Christians are behaving in ways that are so opposite of the message of Jesus Christ as to be ridiculous. Using the Bible to justify the pedophilia of a candidate for the Senate would be one example. Supporting Donald Trump, as far from a Christian as anyone could possibly get, would be another. Today, I read a great response from someone to a story about the assault on Christmas. “Do you know who never said ‘Merry Christmas’?”, wrote the commenter. “Jesus,” was his answer. Last week, Trump bellowed away about how that now he is on the scene, the words Merry Christmas can be said in the White House again. He made it okay again. In response, cable news channel MSNBC played a montage of over a dozen clips of Barack Obama saying Merry Christmas while he was president. That is another thing Christians need to confront: Their comfort level with lying. Pretty basic Old Testament stuff. We were commanded not to lie. And we shouldn’t put up with others doing it. Oops.

Blue Christmas

By Jim Hagarty
2012
My heart goes out to those facing their first Christmas without a parent or both parents. Guess what I did that first season whenever I heard Anne Murray singing Away in a Manger, my Mom’s favourite hymn by her favourite singer. My first Christmas without my mother. I was single with no children of my own at the time. I think those who are still unattached suffer those losses a little more, but that’s just an opinion. My parents still loom large in my life though they’ve been gone almost 30 years, and they are with me never so much as at Christmas even today. The reason that is so is they were my best friends. And, of course, whenever I want to be reminded of what they were like, I need only look across the room at our son and daughter. And when I hear Anne Murray singing Away in the Manger on the radio, I still tear up. I have tears in my eyes just writing this. And I am glad that I do.

Far, Far Out

By Jim Hagarty
2016

Good news. So far 18,300 people have applied to NASA to be one of the eight astronauts who will be part of the first manned mission to Mars. Don’t tell my wife but I signed her up as an early birthday present. She has always liked to travel. I would go but somebody has to look after the dog. One concern is the rumour going around that they don’t intend to bring these people back to Earth. But there is always Skype. (Warning: This might have been my final Lifetime Sentences post.)

“If I Had A …”

By Jim Hagarty
2013

I was walking along the sidewalk on the way to the dentist this afternoon when I looked down and saw a hammer. A lightweight one with rubber on the yellow handle. Pretty cool. I am now the owner of a yellow hammer with rubber on the handle.

It occurred to me to leave it where it was in case the rightful owner returned, but I doubt that would happen and someone else’s toolbox would be one hammer fuller tonight. So I walked into the dentist’s office carrying a hammer.

I could see fear in the eyes of the people who work there and read their minds: “Old Jim’s finally gone nuts” as they are aware that I think dental bills are too high and I wonder if they thought I’d come to seek revenge. I explained the story and all was well. But they still looked at me as though I had hit myself in the head with the hammer 50 times before I walked in.

The reason I kept the hammer was this: Years ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop (when they still had stools) and I was right next to the cashier. There was a lineup. I looked down to see a $20 bill on the floor. I picked it up and said, “Anybody lose a 20?” A young man in line instantly yelled, “I did” and grabbed the bill out of my hand. A young woman in front of him with two little kids at her legs frantically started searching in her purse, I believe, for the missing 20. The jerk behind her got it.

So, if I had held that hammer up today and called out, “Anybody lose a hammer?” I know that guy or a jerk just like him would come speeding by on a bike, grab the hammer and take off.

Besides, I think Life throws you a free hammer every now and expects you to take it. So I did.

I nailed it!