My Research Project

By Jim Hagarty
2014

I am going after a research grant for a five-year study of the brain of a cat. I believe it will take me four years and 364 days to find the brain first, and one day to study it. Today our cat Luigi stuck his head in the dog’s bowl and began gnawing away on the kibble there. That takes a special kind of stupid, given the location of the dog who was about three feet away. I need to find out what causes a cat to do that. I will ask the Research Council for $100,000, or $50, whatever they can afford.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.