Tools of the Trade

By Jim Hagarty

I had last week off from work and experienced an enjoyable, illuminating time.

This might not be everyone’s idea of the ideal vacation, but I spent my days off with my three favourite psychiatrists, mental-health helpers that have been with me since I was a boy. They are Dr. Hammer, Dr. Sawyer and Dr. Shoveller. Their services are surprisingly inexpensive (aside from a reasonable initial outlay) and I can never remember a time when they have failed to cheer me up, or at the least, distract me from my worries.

Dr. Hammer, especially, has a good head on his shoulders. So often, when I bring him a problem I can’t identify, he simply nails it. Between the two of us, we pound away at things, over and over, sometimes for hours, until there are no loose ends left. He can be a bit hard-nosed and sometimes I get my fingers rapped, but all in all, he is a master at putting it all together.

He can also undo my mistakes, sometimes, clawing away at them till we’re able to remove them and start again.

Dr. Sawyer is a healer, too, but in a much different way. Where Dr. Hammer loves order and likes to put it all together, Dr. Sawyer never fails to cut to the chase and believes that things have to be taken apart before they can be reassembled. Sometimes, his approach is to arrange for problems to be handled in small chunks. Other times, he likes to trim down the rough edges and slice away the unneeded extras.

He is sharp, very flexible, and loves to sink his teeth into any conundrums I might bring him.

Unlike the other two, Dr. Shoveller works his magic by digging into problems, getting below the surface of them, to the very roots of the issues. In fact, he does his best work when he is uncovering things, and he will turn over every rock to see what lies below. When I’ve gotten myself into a hole, I can always lean on Shoveller to get my way back out, to fill in the rough spots and to smooth things over.

There seems to be nothing the two of us can’t handle.

I’ve been to other specialists over the years. Dr. Rake, Dr. Laundry, Dr. Ovens. But they have never been able to work the wonders of my three best healers.

I wouldn’t trade them for one full week on the nicest beach anywhere in the world.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.