At the Lumber Store

A couple of eager, but slow-witted, guys in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men, named Jethro Dumbass, walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” Jethro said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

“All right. How long do you need them?”

Jethro paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

After a while, he returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.