By Jim Hagarty
Punn Ditt Inc.
I got my invitation to Donald Trump’s inauguration, of course, and was so looking forward to maybe meeting my hero. Alas, January 20 is my birthday and my family is insisting I stay home and eat cherry pie all day instead. I have to go with my family’s wishes, unfortunately. I won’t even be able to watch the Great Event on TV as my family has a day of Netflix planned. So, I will join the millions of other people who will not be watching. I am sorry to say this will hurt the new president more than anything as the key to his heart is Constant Maximum Adoration by the Masses. I will have to do my adoring in private. If there is time left over that day, I will head to my back yard to keep working on our bomb shelter. I am installing a special little door for the cats and dog.