By Jim Hagarty
2017
Now and then, my nose itches so badly I practically scratch it right off my face. Although the theory is that all that nose scratching means I am about to kiss a fool, very little kissing ever seems to follow the scratching, fools or otherwise.
I do not know the cause of this strange affliction but I am guessing it is due to an allergy of some kind. Maybe I will have to cut back on my cherry pies.
But after reading a news item today, I don’t know whether to be grateful or terrified. I don’t want to give anyone nightmares so if you are prone to those, you might want to stop reading now.
A 42-year-old woman in India finally solved the puzzle of her itchy nose and it is nothing to sneeze at. A fully grown cockroach had crawled up one of her nostrils and it took 12 hours, four hospital visits, and a pair of forceps in order to get the creepy crawler to leave.
The roach was located in the nasal cavity between the woman`s eyes, close to the brain, and had begun to make it hard for her to breathe.
“It was alive. And it didn’t seem to want to come out,” said a doctor who treated the woman. At first, doctors tried to suction the creature out of the woman’s nose, but this only caused it to cling stronger to her nasal cavity. In the end, they needed to use forceps to pull it out in a procedure that lasted about 45 minutes.
Although this was the first time any of the doctors reported seeing something as large or strange as a full-grown cockroach in a person’s body, unfortunately creepy crawlers like to take refuge inside of us more often than you know, states the news story. Human bodies are warm and moist, or in other words, an ideal home for an insect.
Also in India, a 12-year-old girl was so unlucky as to have not just one bug inside of her body, but an entire colony. The young girl complained of head pain, and upon closer examination, doctors found that an ant colony was living inside of her. A dozen or so ants emerged from her ears each day, and doctors believe that hundreds could actually be living inside of her head.
In another case, a woman in China complained of ear pain. When doctors looked inside, they found a spider living in her ear canal. Maybe even worse was a 92-year-old woman who was found to have had 57 maggots living in one of her ears. Doctors believe a fly crawled inside her ear and laid eggs.
So cheer up. I really hope nothing is bugging you. And if it is, you might want to see a doctor. Whatever you do, dont take a can of Raid and spray it up your nose or in your ears. Youd be better off to kiss a fool.
Give me a call. I will be right over.
