Ten Dumb Things to Get Mad At

By Jim Hagarty
2017

Ten Dumb Things to Get Mad At

1. The way young people dress. Baggy pants, torn blue jeans, short skirts, backwards caps, etc. We had bell bottoms, polka dot shirts, bikinis and Speedos. And we invented streaking.

2. Today’s music. Lots of great stuff out there if we will admit it and open our ears. Adele, Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran, good country artists by the truckload. Even Paul McCartney is collaborating with new artists. The Beatles loved all music, even country, bluegrass, big band, jazz. They never restricted themselves; why should we?

3. Breastfeeding in public. We willingly eat in front of strangers. Our babies can’t? Nipples are pretty common things, it seems. I saw two of them in my bathroom mirror while I was shaving this morning.

4. Women’s heads covered by religious garments we think are being forced on them by their husbands (they aren’t). We forget the nuns we grew up with who were also covered in black from head to toe with only the smallest area of their faces shown and who definitely took a back seat to the men in their same calling.

5. Today’s TV shows. If the cast of the Honeymooners or I Love Lucy were still alive and able to operate remote controls, they’d laugh like crazy over so much of what is appearing on the trails they blazed.

6. Marijuana. Human beings began searching for mind-altering substances when we were still living in caves. We will still be doing it when we’re living on Europa and Mars. Pot might not be perfect but if we need a drug to get mad at, let’s pick alcohol, a socially acceptable substance which devastates society a thousand times more than any weed you can grow in your backyard.

7. Other people’s religions. If you practise a religion at all, this should be a big red flag for you. Something about love thy neighbour, live and let live, Golden Rule. If a turban or a scarf or a prayer mat upsets you, get mad at yourself for being such a close-minded ass.

8. Taxes. Yes, let’s get rid of taxes. Good luck fighting the fire that consumes your house in the middle of the night or fending off that burglar that wants to take your stuff. Pre-taxes, my great-grandfather owed his Ontario county two days a year of backbreaking labour to build the roads around his farm. Refusal to help meant time in jail. So, yes, no taxes. See you at the Highway 401 repaving near Toronto next week. I’ll bring the donuts.

9. Pornography (child porn excepted). Of course, no one is forced to see it. You have to go looking for it, unless you consider sex in TV ads and shows unavoidable. It has been said of Puritans that they were forever bothered by the suspicion that people somewhere were having fun. Other prudes also worried that sex could lead to dancing. I knew of a man who never got over the fact that he was born in bed with a woman. We have no trouble exposing everyone to images of hatred and violence and war, but we get very nervous about images of love making. Even simple nudity. How odd.

10. Tattoos and face rings. Often the ones who get most upset by these things are older men who wish they had the courage to get a tattoo or an earring. Conformity is the goal for these men. Straying from the acceptable is terrifying. In the sixties, dads were upset their sons were growing their hair long. When those long-haired males became dads themselves, they got upset when their sons came home from the barbers with their heads shaved.

I like what our Canadian prime minister says. Diversity is not a problem in our society; it is our strength.

Lots to be mad about these days, I guess. Maybe we should save our wrath for the important things.

Time to lighten up.