By Jim Hagarty
So Donald Trump has an imaginary friend named Jim. He’s often referred to Jim when he is trying to make a case about something. For example, Jim used to go to Paris a lot with his wife but now considers it a hell hole because of all the Muslims that have been let in these past few years so now he steers clear.
No one has been able to get a precise bead on who exactly this Jim is and last week, some resourceful newshounds went through whole lists of people named Jim with whom Trump is associated. None of the Jims on the big long list fit the bill. Not even close. One Jim that might have made the grade isn’t married so could not have gone to Paris with his wife.
Apparently, making up friends is sort of a family tradition, as Papa Fred Trump did the same. He used to also pass himself off as someone other than who he really was, a little trick Donald adopted too, phoning news outlets posing as John Barron or John Miller and delivering the latest most amazing news about Donald Trump and the fantastic success he was having on the financial and romantic fronts.
Well, this is all fine and dandy, but I am here to burst the bubble. For, you see, I am the real Jim. The Donald and I go way back and are lifelong besties. He is right that I have not been to Paris in a while but he was wrong to say it was because of the Muslims who live there. The real impediment to my goals of strolling the wonderful streets of Paris is my lack of financial stability. To explain, I am a graduate of Trump University and that little venture cut into my assets.
However, I have forgiven my buddy Don and support him a hundred per cent. And I appreciate his continued support of me.
Don and Jim Forever!