By Jim Hagarty
2013
I just made $100,000 so go ahead and congratulate me.
After reading that a 33-year-old singer/songwriter/idiot spent $100,000 on plastic surgery to make himself look like his idol Justin Bieber, I decided this was a goal I wanted to achieve too, especially since he was born and raised in my hometown and it’s possible lightning might strike twice. So I found a picture of Bieber, held it up to the mirror and took a look at his head and mine. He has two ears, so do I. Check. He has a nose, I have one as well. Two eyes, a mouth, check and check. Chin, cheeks, eyebrows, forehead. So far, the similarities are striking. He has more hair on his head than I do but he always wears a baseball cap and so do I.
So, as far as I am concerned, we’re pretty much a perfect match. Except maybe for that 44-year age difference thing, but as far as I’m concerned, we’re close enough.
So, my $100,000 facelift fund is staying in my interest bearing account where it is earning me a handsome .00025 per cent per annum. Turns out money can buy you happiness as I am happy I am not the singer/songwriter/copycat/idiot referred to above.
