Ah Yes, the Good Old Days

By Jim Hagarty
Punn Ditt Inc.

So much has been and is being written about what might lie ahead now that the Republican Party has control of all three branches of government. Set aside the danger of Donald Trump, an erratic, immature man who is capable of God only knows what. It is the Republican agenda that is to be more feared, in all likelihood. And that is because this group of people has its sights firmly set on returning the United States to pre-Franklin D. Roosevelt days. This is not my opinion. Right wingers are on record saying America’s problems began with FDR and his New Deal. That was when the U.S. became a socialist nation.

It is amazing and frightening that these people who have power over others’ lives, seem to have forgotten the ten lost years of the Great Depression which preceded FDR. In the U.S. and in Canaada, “laissez faire” leaders wanted everything left to the wisdom of the market and free enterprise. The decade of inaction by Herbert Hoover in the U.S. and R.B. Bennett in Canada, resulted in so much human suffering it can hardly be quantified.

Roosevelt (and the demands of the Second World War) showed what government could do.

Conservatives believe the nations went into decline then and there. Up is down to them. They want to go back there. They might get their wish.

A Narcissist’s Prayer

Saw this today on the Internet.

A Narcissist’s Prayer

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.

To Beer or Not to Beer

By Jim Hagarty
Punn Ditt Inc.

Donald Trump was having trouble finding any big stars who would perform for his inauguration party on Friday.

Part of his problem was that he was holding out for someone who would bring a level of intelligence and class to the event that would put to rest any notion that Trump is a know-nothing, classless dumbass.

Fortunately, he has now found that very person. Country singing superstar Toby Keith will be there and will bring the house down. With any luck, he will sing at least some of his hits from this list:

beer-bottles

Beer For My Horses
I Love This Bar
Whiskey Girl
Get Drunk and Be Somebody
Every Time I Drink I Fall in Love
Rum is the Reason
Drunk Americans
Beers Ago
Clancy’s Tavern
Rockin’ the Beer Gut
In My Next Five Beers
Get My Drink On
Drinks After Work
I Like Girls That Drink Beer
Haven’t Had a Drink All Day
Cold Beer Country
Loaded
Chug-a-Lug
Margaritaville

My Crushing Debt

By Jim Hagarty
2014

I have gotten myself into a bit of a financial pickle and I am not sure how I am going to get past it. Any suggestions would be helpful and if you would like to contribute to lessening the pressure on my finances, I would appreciate that as well.

Now comes the details as I am sure you want details before you commit yourself to any philanthropy directed my way.

This week I received a letter from retail giant Sears and it appears I have somehow been remiss in attending to my account. As a result of this inattention to my duties with regards to paying my bills with this company, I now owe it interest on arrears. That interest amounts to three cents. Now three cents might not seem that much to you but to my household, it may put us right on the precipice of ruin if I cannot raise the funds.

And, I have to admit, I cannot come up with the money. Not because I have no money though my purse does get lighter than a balloon now and then, but for this reason: Canada has done away with the penny. I would have gladly packed up three pennies and sent them off to Sears but I can’t come up with three cents. And I am too good a businessman to send them a nickel because then I would have to bill Sears for the two cents difference. They would be liable to send me a nickle in return to cover the two cents they would now owe me but the cycle would begin anew as I would then owe them three cents again.

Although I have handled money of varying amounts and in various forms – paycheques, mortgages, lines of credit, etc. – nothing has prepared me for the economic challenge represented by receiving a bill from a large company for three cents. For starters, Sears paid for a sheet of paper and an envelope and presumably, someone to put the paper in the envelope (or have a machine do it) and the 63 cent cost of a stamp to send this bill to me. I will have to spend that much to pay the bill.

In total then, Sears and I will have spent upwards of $1.50 to finalize this three cent transaction.

But, I am just a lowly serf who owes the overlords three cents. I should be grateful I am not being sued for the amount, I suppose. Maybe I will be yet. And with the return of debtors’ prisons in the U.S., how long can it before they show up in my country. Please visit me in jail and I would be grateful if you could smuggle in a chocolate bar. Thanks.

If I can find three people who are willing to pay me a penny for my thoughts, maybe I can avoid incarceration and bankruptcy.

As for Sears, the future might not be as bright, a lot of news stories say.

I wonder why.

Donald and I Will Be Celebrating

By Jim Hagarty
Punn Ditt Inc.

I got my invitation to Donald Trump’s inauguration, of course, and was so looking forward to maybe meeting my hero. Alas, January 20 is my birthday and my family is insisting I stay home and eat cherry pie all day instead. I have to go with my family’s wishes, unfortunately. I won’t even be able to watch the Great Event on TV as my family has a day of Netflix planned. So, I will join the millions of other people who will not be watching. I am sorry to say this will hurt the new president more than anything as the key to his heart is Constant Maximum Adoration by the Masses. I will have to do my adoring in private. If there is time left over that day, I will head to my back yard to keep working on our bomb shelter. I am installing a special little door for the cats and dog.