So the sidewalk snowplow guy phoned the city snow department and told his boss he needed a new sidewalk plow. “How wide are the sidewalks there Harrufus?” Harrufus Smith informed the Snow Man that the city sidewalks are 40 inches wide. “Perfect,” responded his boss with a somewhat evil chuckle. “We’ll order you a new plow with a 60-inch blade.” Concerned, Harrufus said that the new plow would carve up 10 inches of sod on either side of the sidewalks and cause homeowners to run to the street, haul him out of the cab of the small tractor and pummel him half to death with their snow shovels. “You leave that to me,” replied the demented Snow Man. “And Harrufus,” he ordered sternly. “Change that goofy name of yours.” So the poor sidewalk snowplow driver started using his new machine this week and changed his name to Harrufus Jones.” Visitation for Harrufus who succumbed to repeated snow shovel blows is Monday from 2 to 4. Mrs Smith-Jones requests monetary donations to the Neighbourhood Sidewalk Vigilance Committee in lieu of flowers. Harrufus was a good man.
©2016 Jim Hagarty
