My Ad-ition Woes

Thank you so much for your patience. Over the past few weeks, I have been working to include some advertising on this blog. I have wanted to see what kind of financial results I might see by going in that direction. I thought I was becoming pretty tech savvy, but my savvy has been letting me down. For me, in any case, this is a big job. Like trying to thread a needle blindfolded in a dark room crawling with moles, one of which I just saw scurrying across my backyard while I was outside for a break. And yes, I do get sidetracked, and have no idea where I was heading just now. Now I remember. We were discussing moles. No we weren’t says my wife from across the room. Now there is someone who can thread a needle blindfolded in a dark room. I know that to be a fact as I have often blindfolded her, ordered her into a pitch black room and told her she cannot come out till she has threaded a needle I gave her. She is out in 30 seconds.  I then spend 30 minutes outside in the cold, where I have been sent to await forgiveness, which is how I saw the mole. I have not told you yet that I don’t like moles. I don’t even like writing about moles but you brought the subject up so I had no choice.

Ads. Ah yes, ads. I have made it my mission in life now to squeeze as many pennies as I can out of the ad-supplying company I have signed up with. Imagine my surprise when, rather than being grateful that I had chosen them to “populate” my blog, they went in a different direction and rejected me. They did a careful survey of my entire blog and found material that bordered on hate messages. You might remember, how, in the same year I started Lifetime Sentences, a certain unusual and unlikely candidate became president of the Unites States. I am afraid I was almost instantly laid low by a sort of derangement syndrome associated with this man and I used my blog day in and day out to share my sickness with the world. The ad company found all that crap and said that unless it was removed, I couldn’t have any ads. It took me four days to scrub down the entire site and I am still going through it and finding bits and pieces about the guy. I even wrote a poem and several limericks about him.

All my hard work paid off and I was finally approved. I placed my first ad one week ago today. I am generally happy with the results but I have a long way to go in this area. I want to find a right balance of ads to my original content and I seem to be able to do that by trial and error only.

So thanks for hanging in there with me and if you see any item in an ad you might want, let me know and I will rush right out and buy it for you.

On sale this week are mole bait traps. Good price.

Also some used needles and thread.

©2019 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.