Regrets, I Have a Few

President Donald Trump woke up the day after the mid-term election in 2018 and started firing people. That first day, he fired three, just to get warmed up.

The first one he fired was a Hagarty (seriously). Because of this, I feel badly for all the terrible things I wrote about the Donald and the silly memes I shared. It appears that all that negativity that I put out there has affected the employment of one of my distant relatives.

So, to Donald Trump and the Hagarty who lost her job, I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for writing such drivel as this:

The Donald’s Prayer

If I was Donald Trump

I would be mad of heart and soul

That I wasn’t born a nice guy

But instead a big azz whole.

–

I could have loved my neighbour.

Kindness could have been my goal.

Instead I grew up learning how

To be a big azz whole.

–

I would like to have been honest

And wish I’d never stole

But the cards were stacked against me.

I became a big azz whole.

–

So come all ye jolly fellows,

Never mimic how I roll.

Please try to think of others

And don’t be a big azz whole.

©2018 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.