One spring day in 1996, I was sitting with a friend in a coffeeshop when my cellphone rang. It was my wife Barb announcing that it was time to go to the hospital. So we went there and came home with our own new baby boy.
Twenty-two months later I was sitting in the same coffeeshop, again enjoying another coffee, when my cellphone rang, just as it had before. Off to the hospital. Bouncing baby girl.
Obviously something had to be done.
So, I announced to the manager of my favourite little diner that I would not be bringing my cellphone into his coffeeshop any more. And as I expected, that was the end of our population boom.
This reminded me of the story of the young Scottish farmer named Angus whose wife was about to give birth to their first child. The doctor showed up at the farm in the middle of the night and as these were the old days, there was no electricity in their little house.
“Angus, Angus come and hold the light,” commanded the doctor, so Angus did that and lo and behold, a beautiful baby boy was born.
Overwhelmed with joy, Angus went outside for some fresh air when he suddenly heard the doctor call again, “Angus, Angus come and hold the light.” So, in Angus went and did as he was told and soon, he had another baby boy, identical to the first.
In a bit of shock now, Angus went back outside to try to take in these new realities. “Angus, Angus come and hold the light,” yelled Doc. In went Angus. Out came baby boy number three.
Now Angus stumbled outside and could hardly breathe. How would they feed three young boys on the meagre earnings from their little farm?
While he was figuring this out, puffing nervously on a cigarette, he heard once again, “Angus, Angus, come and hold the light.”
This time Angus called back: “I’ll noah hold the light fer yu. I think the light’s attractin’ them.”
©2011 Jim Hagarty
