When I was a kid, I had my antennae alert a lot of times for any compliments that might come my way. I was insecure about my value and worth to this world, and welcomed any sign of validation from anyone, even if the words could barely pass the praise test.
For a time, I even became an attention seeker and I didn’t like myself for that but seemed powerless to stop it.
All that was a long time ago and I think I have left most of it behind. I am not one of those hardy souls who brags that, “I don’t care what people think of me,” but I believe I have more balance than ever before in my life.
The other day, I read out a poem to my family as we were all sitting around. They listened intently, not knowing the origin of the piece, and when I was done, my wife said, “Did you write that?” I told her the poem was mine. She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t have to.
For a writer, in my case anyway, the highest form of praise is to be asked the question, “Did you write that?” Whether it’s a story, a poem or a song, it’s fun to present it to others and hope someone will wonder aloud if it was yours and not the creation of some famous, world-renowned writer. Sometimes they do, other times they don’t.
And this can apply to more than just writing.
“Did you take that photo? Wow!”
“Oh my God. Did you make that coffee table?”
“You painted that? Holy mackerel.”
And those questions are enhanced if they are followed by:
“You’re kidding me.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“You’re telling me you actually did this?”
From the day we are born, our biggest fear is the loss of love. Our biggest hope is to win some love or to keep the love we have. To have others admire something about us, whether it’s the way we decorate our house, or our bodies or, with our art and the things we create with our hands, the world around us, is no small thing.
The important thing to remember, however, is that while what we offer might be great, we should never assume it is the greatest.
Unless we are talking about our children. Because they truly are the best.
And no, I’m not kidding you.
They are the best.
©2020 Jim Hagarty
