It’s been kind of lonely around the house during the day since we exchanged our old fridge for a new one. The old one had been around for almost 30 years and was dear to my heart but its motor was in terrible shape and when running, sounded like a big machine in a factory might sound or a plane taking off at the local airport.
I had gotten used to all this racket, but one day, as I sat here at my computer alone in the kitchen, I noticed the darned thing had started talking to me. I can’t remember all the things it said, but it would toss out a phrase and keep that going till it turned off. When it started again, another phrase would emerge. It was usually three words. Something like, “Buy some cornflakes” or “Grass getting greener” or “Gordie Howe called.”
Not joking.
Once I had heard the motor say one of these things each time it grunted, the phrase got louder and louder and clear as a bell.
I happened to mention this to my family and each night at supper, inevitably, someone would ask me what the fridge had said that day. So I would tell them. It was kind of comforting having this talking appliance over in the corner and eventually, I found it to be better company than the radio. At least it didn’t shout out any annoying ads every few minutes.
But Old Yeller left a few months ago and I’m afraid the new fridge is not very talkative. In fact, I have yet to hear it say anything. So, back to wall-to-wall silence during the day except for the gerbils running in their ferris wheels and the dog barking at passersby through the picture window now and then.
However, just yesterday, I noticed a wonderful thing. Someone was showering and the bathroom fan downstairs, which is louder than the fridge ever was, struck up a one-sided conversation. And it was a good one. “Buy a boat!” it said, over and over.
And when someone else showered later in the day, the fan came alive again, this time advising me to wash my sweater. So, I am happily entertained once more and no longer lonely. I can flip the bathroom fan on whenever I like, even if there is no shower involved, and then sit back and listen.
In an Irishman’s home, sometimes, even the appliances can’t stop talking.
©2013 Jim Hagarty
