I live in a Canadian city that has a population of 35,0000 plus. It’s a pretty good place but I have always felt a little nervous living in the community where I was born.
That is why I am pulling up stakes next week and moving to Kennesaw, Georgia, a city the same size as mine but with one major attractive difference. Every home in Kennesaw is required by law to have a gun on the premises. Every home. REQUIRED. BY. LAW. It is not just legal to own a handgun, shotgun, rocket launcher, tank, etc., it is mandatory.
I would feel much safer living there knowing that whenever I knocked on someone’s door, the owner of that home would be armed. And everyone who knocked on mine would know that I am packing heat as well. That would be so great.
I had a big fat groundhog in my backyard last summer. Took me weeks to encourage him to move on. In Kennesaw: BAM!!! Critter gone. Noisy freakin’ crows in my maple trees. BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! What is that I hear? No crows. Yay. Annoying door-to-door salesmen? I’m pretty sure there is no such creature roaming the streets of Kennesaw.
Yes, this morning six people were shot in Kennesaw and the shooter was shot and killed but, hey, we have traffic accidents in my town but we don’t ban the cars, do we? Exactly.
l will miss you all but if you’re ever down in Kennesaw, drop in any time. We can put on some bulletproof vests and helmets and take a stroll downtown. Kennesaw is lovely this time of year. It hardly ever rains during graveyard services.
©2014 Jim Hagarty
