Handsome Ransom

By Jim Hagarty

If I was as handsome as you
I’d have me a fling or two.
I’d ask out a movie star
And rent a red foreign car.

If I was as handsome as you
I’d rent a Swiss chalet or two
And have my affairs over there.
Or maybe in France somewhere.

If I was as handsome as you
I’d hike off to Amsterdam too
And find out just what it’s like
To ride on a two-person bike.

If I was as handsome as you
The very first thing I would do
Is change my first name to Clint
And steal gold bars from the Mint.

If I was as handsome as you,
A dream that will never come true,
I’d probably still be OK
To live the life I have today.

Cause handsome was never my goal.
True handsome resides in the soul.
If I was as handsome as you
I might be an idiot too.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.