The Medical Report

By Jim Hagarty

I went to the doctor yesterday.

He checked me over and pronounced me to be in pretty good shape. I left his office feeling 10 years younger.

But I have had a sore hip, which I didn’t mention to him. Funny, as I have mentioned it to the last 100 people I have met. That and a few other random pains make me a bit miserable on occasion.

One of those occasions was today as I hobbled to a food court in a mall to have a muffin and orange juice while my car was being serviced. I saw an old friend there, someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. So I went and sat down next to him.

After the usual catching up, I asked him how his health was, knowing he’d had some problems.

“Well,” he started, “I am diabetic. And I have had a triple bypass. As well as a stroke. And four heart attacks.”

“Oh my God,” I replied. “That’s terrible.”

“Ya,” he answered. “Tell me about it. I died twice.”

“WHAT??” I asked, my jaw dropping open.

“Oh, and I have no gall bladder.” I could hardly believe my ears. And then he added, half laughing, “I probably won’t be around much longer.”

But here’s the funny thing. He was sitting with his wife and another woman. The three of them were all joking and laughing. Then another man joined them and the party really got started. They laughed and teased each other like teenagers.

I got up to leave, and put out my hand, wondering if I’d see my old friend again. He shook my hand and smiled, “Say hi to your Higher Power for me.”

You know, I just might do that.

As I walked away, I could hear them all laughing over something silly. They were all remarking on how much one of the women resembled Queen Elizabeth. She was loving every minute of it.

As I was leaving, I noticed my hip wasn’t hurting any more.

My heart – maybe a bit.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.