By Jim Hagarty
I am not sure what the appropriate timeframe is for retrieving two pairs of short pants from the garbage can after you have thrown them out.
I waited just over 24 hours, so hopefully I am within the safe zone. These are 10-year-old shorts that I have worn daily from May till October for a decade and these days, it is a very generous description of them to even call them shorts. The one remaining qualifying factor is they have no legs below the knees.
I bought new shorts, you see, which seemed to necessitate the discarding of the old ripped and torn ones. Getting rid of them offered an important benefit: It would stop me from wearing them into stores and restaurants and attracting disapproving stares from shoppers, diners and establishment managers.
But there I was, shooing away the flies and tossing aside filled doggie poop bags to get to my shorts at the bottom of the garbage can. I shook them out, put one pair on and cut the lawn.
An hour later, I wore them into a large department store.
The boys are back in town!
