My Seedy Side

By Jim Hagarty

The sign on the wall above the front counter declared: No refunds, no exchanges. In smaller print below those two large warnings, was this one exception: These restrictions do not apply to Jim Hagarty.

I was glad to see that when, five minutes after I’d paid $3 for a double CD set of 30 top country songs performed by Anne Murray, I returned to the shop to ask for my money back. I had taken the CD out to my car, and when I opened it, there was only one Anne Murray CD in the case. The other one was gone. But in its place was a CD by opera diva Sarah Brightman.

First I asked if I could look on the shelf for the missing Anne Murray CD, but I knew I wouldn’t find it and I didn’t. The woman at the counter asked me if I would like to pick another CD instead and after looking at them all, I saw none I wanted more than Anne Murray. So, I went back to the counter and said I would just take my purchase and leave again. But before I did, the woman reached into the case and took out the Sarah Brightman CD.

“But, I paid for two CDs and got only one,” I protested. “I should get the Sarah Brightman CD that was inside the case.”

This was logic. But logic isn’t being taught in the schools any more and is not in the policy manual of this store, apparently.

“Tell you what,” said the nice woman behind the counter. “Give me a dollar and we’ll call it square.”

“Whaaaattttt????” I exclaimed, with just that number of the letter “a” and “t” plus four question marks.

But the woman wouldn’t budge. She wanted me to pay $4 in total for an Anne Murray two-CD set with one CD missing. My consolation prize was a Sarah Brightman CD. I love Sarah Brightman, but I couldn’t let this happen. My name was on the sign above the counter, after all.

Instead, Anne and Sarah stayed on the shelf and I rode home listening to my new 24 Greatest Hits of Frank Sinatra. It’s pretty darned good.

For $3.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 65-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.

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