They Have All The Answers

The Experts

The best way to raise kids
I’ve found through the years
Is to listen to folks without any.
For some reason they seem
To know more than most parents
And their words are so wise and so many.

I am not sure why
They are so insightful
But I’m grateful for sure that they are.
Cause parents don’t have
A clue what we’re doing.
Childless couples are smarter by far.

They’re like people who flew
In a plane to Vancouver
And now know all there is to know
About guiding an aircraft
From liftoff to landing
And how the whole thing ought to go.

See, they have a niece
Or a nephew and darn it,
They babysit now and again.
So how to raise children
To them is no mystery,
It’s a matter of strong discipline.

You gotta be tough on your
Offspring, they tell you
And show them each day who’s the boss.
And if you object at all, they will tell you,
“Do it your way, then.
“It’s your loss.”

So my strong advice to
Those who have children
Is seek out some people who don’t.
They’ll set you straight
And you will be grateful.
I feel sorry for you if you won’t.

  • Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 65-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.

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