By Jim Hagarty
So many things are disposable these days.
Lighters, diapers, cups, plates, knives and forks, napkins, even clothes.
And backyard water wands.
As we do most winters, we worked hard to prepare our backyard this year for a skating rink. The big moment arrived, the snow was packed down and ready, our old brown wand was hooked to the hose and sploosh. It had sprung a terrible leak.
Off to the store for a new one. A really nice blue one. A quality wand befitting the amazing rink about to come to life.
$19.95 plus tax.
A small price to pay for endless skating to come, all within sight of the kitchen window.
Unfortunately, the wand was left out in the cold a little too long shortly after being pressed into service and it too sprang a terrible leak.
Back to the store.
$19.95 plus tax for the same wand. Same blue colour. Small price to pay, yadda, yadda.
Winter came and went. It blessed us with two skating rinks (the first one melted away in January.) The skating was not endless. It ended. But we had a few hours …
Two weeks ago, I saw the first of the wonder wands we had bought for $19.95, sitting forlorn in the garage. I picked it up, said a sad farewell, and put it in the garbage. The garbage truck came and took it away.
Last week, I went looking for its replacement, the good wand.
But as I write, the Hagarty home is wandless. Apparently, in the confusion brought about by the hours spent freezing my ass off building the rink this winter, I had already thrown out the first bad wand.
And having forgotten about that, I threw out the good one too.
My blog is called Lifetime Sentences, “Tales from a Wandering Mind.”
It is no coincidence the word “wand” is contained within the word “wandering.”
Next winter, I will wander off to the store again.
This time, I will buy the purple wand.
The blue ones suck. They really do.
Tonight, my wife dug out the very first wand, the brown one. I felt bad watching her trying to water the flowers. Water flew out of that thing from every part imaginable except the nozzle. If the flowers got wet, it was just a drive-by.
Guess what I wand for Christmas?
