Time to Cave In

There are so many ideas coming forth now regarding what we can all do to help the planet survive the scourge of pollution and global warming, that it’s easy to get confused.

Therefore, I was happy the other day to find a website – www.greenerthangreen.com – that lays out a sensible, 10-point plan for how we can all reduce the size of the “footprint” we are leaving on the earth as we pass through.

Here are the suggested steps the website creators believe we should follow:

[the_ad_placement id=”top-of-page”]

The transportation of humans, animals, food and raw materials for manufacturing is the source of at least 50 per cent of the greenhouse gases we create. Therefore, we need to quit all this moving about and stay home.

Home, in fact, is another massive part of the problem. Our houses consume a tremendous amount of materials to construct, equip and decorate, and the heating and cooling of these big boxes – some of them occupied by only one person and a dog named Fred – is another major source of pollution. Therefore, our automobiles no longer sewing any purpose as they have been taken off the roads, can be used henceforth as suitable family dwellings. Two-vehicle families can keep humans in one car, pets in the other.

The transportation of food having been ended, as in Step 1 above, it will now be necessary for people to convert their yards into vegetable gardens, plant fruit trees, and keep chickens, cows and pigs in their sheds.

As supplies of other heretofore necessary items such as clothing and tools dwindle in the stores, all of which will close in time, including the “supermarts”, people will need to begin tanning the hides of the various beasts they prepare for their meals. They will also have to use other parts of the animals for other various purposes – teeth for jewellery, bones for drumsticks (drums will be needed as a means of communication, phones and email having died when electricity was unplugged), fur for coats, etc.

People who still have shovels will need to dig wells in their backyards, while others will need to trek down to the rivers several times a day and bring back water in buckets.

Eventually, even the measures detailed above will be seen to be temporary fixes only, especially as it is obvious the global warming problem has not gone away. The next stage, therefore, will be to end the eons-old custom of living in communities – at least the large communities such as cities and towns we are accustomed to. It will be found that tribes and clans are less polluting, as much waste is created by the human interaction inherent in larger communities.

[the_ad_placement id=”top-of-page”]

Scientists working out of their vans will also come to the conclusion that agriculture itself is a major source of our environmental problems and will recommend that we abandon our properties and begin wandering the countrysides in search of wild and available food sources, rediscovering, in the process, useful tools to that end such as the bow and arrow and the snare.

Settlements and homes no longer being a viable option, people will be encouraged to carve caves out of hillsides and mountains and to make temporary dwellings of them (and maybe decorate the walls with paint made from animal blood and charcoal) before they move on.

Fire having finally been conclusively identified as being a major source of heat and smoke and pollution, it will be banned and in time, people will forget how to create it.

Having slowly devolved over time and having gone through various stages such as living in the trees with our four-legged cousins, we will eventually use our newly grown fins and gills to swim back out to the sea from where a lot of scientists are pretty sure we came, therefore reducing our earthly footprint, at least on land to nil.

I hope I am not around for that as I am not a great swimmer.

©2007 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.