Sometimes a person has to wait a while to reap the payback for his sins. Other times, not so long.
This morning, our poodle Toby put his front paws on my lap as I sat on the couch while his back paws were still situated on top of the back of the couch where he had been looking out the window. He was on a 45 degree angle so I grabbed him under the back legs and hoisted him into a complete 90 degree angle, head down, bum up.
Everybody laughed and we called those who weren’t in the room to come see the funny sight.
I held our little dog like this for a minute or two, having a great time at his expense. Then we all heard a certain familiar chuffle sound and my reaction time was slow to none. I put my hand under his mouth but that served no function at all.
Out spewed about a cup of yellow doggie digestive juices, all over my fingers and the couch upholstery.
Poor little fellow. I guess it seemed like a funny sight because everyone laughed even louder than before except for Toby who had lost his cookies and was stumbling around dazed and me who was tasked with cookies cleanup and was stumbling around dazed.
Good ideas with dogs don’t always achieve the intended results.
I was waiting in the emergency room of our hospital one day when a friend happened along with evidence of having received a few stitches on his face. I asked him what had happened and his wife replied for him as I think he was too embarrassed.
To tease his fair-sized dog, he got down on all fours at mealtime and pretended to be fixin’ on eating the kibble in the dog’s dish. The dog did what any self-respecting dog would do and chomped down on his owner’s mug.
My hand was covered in yellow goo this morning but it could have been worse. At least I didn’t need stitches even if my heartless family were in stitches at the sight of my self-induced predicament.
It is true: Pets teach you how to treat them.
Children too.
©2012 Jim Hagarty
