Something’s Living Under My Shed

Ten years ago, a big hole appeared under my shed. A groundhog had taken up residence in the hole but he was evicted thanks to my garden hose after I heard that a groundhog can mess up a little dog such as we have.

Even when the hog was still there, I filled in the hole a couple of times, and he dug it out. I even put a rock in front of it after filling it in. He pushed the rock aside.

But ten years have passed. The groundhog is gone, but the hole is still there. A little grassed over and from time to time, it looks like someone has moved in, but it soon goes dormant again.

However, two days ago, I just about fainted when I saw that some animal has not only cleaned out the hole but expanded it. There is enough fresh dirt kicked out onto the lawn to half fill a wheelbarrow.

This is an instance when you wouldn’t want to own the imagination I was cursed with. My first thought was that a bear cub could fit in that hole with room to spare. Maybe two or three cubs were living under my shed. But I am also able to access the logical side of my brain, weak though it might be at times, and decided bears would need more room to create a den under my shed.

The next obvious candidate was a wolverine. For some reason, I was raised to have a terrible fear of wolverines. We did live on a farm and maybe at some time in the last hundred years one did wander though and ate a goose or a calf but my siblings and I got repeated warnings about wolverines to the point where I half expected to run into one on the way to the barn to do the chores at night.

Wolverines are nasty creatures, for sure, and how one got under my shed I will never know. But I wasn’t happy about it.

Then I remembered we have five bunnies ripping around our yard – two adults and three babies – so maybe they are down there. But I doubt that. The wolverine would scare them off.

I discounted the idea that another groundhog had taken up residence as I think I made myself pretty clear ten years ago that groundhogs are not welcome.

So yesterday, summoning up all the courage I don’t have, I went behind the shed and stood by the hole. Almost immediately, I saw a nose emerge from the hole and then two oversized eyes and a head. Then the thing came right out and started zipping around. Fortunately, it didn’t see me.

I suppose there are some who would say the threat level arising from a chipmunk is pretty low. That would seem to be right but some species of chipmunks have been around since the dinosaurs.

So if they can outlive the dinosaurs, I think one of these hardy guys, if he got in a lucky first shot, could really mess me up.

I’m starting to miss the wolverine.

©2020 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.