Things Heard at a Proctologist’s Office

  • “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
  • “Can you hear me NOW?”
  • “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”
  • “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
  • “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey…
  • “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
  • “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”
  • “Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”
  • “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”
  • “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!!”
  • “Deflector shields: Down!”
  • “How long have you been in politics?”

(thebayfieldbunch.com)

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.