By Jim Hagarty
2016
Here’s something I believe in.
I don’t feel completely stress-free unless I am alone. If there is one other person in my presence, there is stress ranging from very mild to very intense. If there are a lot of people, I can feel almost smothered.
I have told her this so I don’t think she’ll mind me repeating it to you. My wife went away for a weekend with her friends recently. And my son and daughter are away at university. I had the house to myself for the first time in many years. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it. But before too long, I could feel great waves of relaxation sweep over me. I felt no pressure from anyone to talk or to do tasks, not that my wife is a hard taskmaster. Oddly, however, without the (self-imposed) pressure to perform, I actually got a few things done. I even cooked meals for myself, eating out only once.
A friend of mine got divorced years ago. I was surprised when it happened. I thought they made a very good couple. I saw her one day and I asked her what went wrong.
“He never went away,” she said of her husband. “He was always there. I never had a moment to myself.”
Familiarity breeds contempt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Not new concepts, but ones that appeal to me. I have a neighbour who always criticizes me for what she feels is a lack of attention I pay to my marriage. She is free to do that. But sometimes, I think less is more.
I especially believe that when it comes to contact with other human beings.
