The Licker Inspectors

By Jim Hagarty
2015
My daughter says I keep repeating bad jokes in the hope that somebody somewhere will find them funny. To prove her right, I am repeating that our dog Toby can’t hold his licker. Clever, right? I thought so. Please laugh so I don’t have to repeat that several more times. To encourage you to choose the only possible response, I am offering a bonus assessment. I am going to build Toby a doghouse and call it the licker cabinet. It’s falling down laughing you are, right? I thought so. If that hasn’t done it yet, there’s always this: My wife and daughter are disgusted when Toby licks my face, head and the insides of my ears. They command him to stop when they catch him at this activity. They are therefore known, as well they should be, as our licker inspectors. Go ahead, throw back your head and let ‘er rip. You and I and Toby all know you want to.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.