By Jim Hagarty
2018
I had been disappointed in the quality of my night dreams lately. For some months, actually. It seemed like a long time since I had had one of those amazing, pleasurable dreams that would leave me in a good mood all the next day. The kind that make you go right back to sleep again in the hope of recapturing the storyline, but, of course, you never can. All I was getting were a series of strange, sometimes alarming circumstances involving people I knew 30 or 40 years ago. Or some calamity or other like a tornado or flood.
But then, one night last week, it happened. For some reason, a beautiful recording artist who is also a movie star was sitting there on my couch beside me. (I cannot reveal her name because the last thing I need are the paparazzi at my door – not to mention the police.) This star, the very last person you would expect to be sitting on my couch with me, turned to me and said, “Will you take me out on a date?” Well, apparently that blew my mind so completely that I woke up before I had a chance to scream, “Yes!” So I got up, had a sip of orange juice, and dove back under the covers, hoping to press play and carry on with this wonderful turn of events. Alas, however, she was gone. As was my couch. And me.
And she has stayed gone. But, my normal dreams are back. Last night, I dreamed I was looking out the window into my backyard when I saw a big black bear squeeze under the fence, stand up by the treehouse and stare directly into my eyes. The singer/movie star stared at me too, but seemed nowhere near as menacing. The good news is, before I woke up, the bear squirmed back under the fence somehow (the fence boards are about two inches off the ground) and was gone.
But not gone the way my movie star is gone. The bear will return, of that I am sure. I think it is because I am deathly afraid of bears. Apparently not, however, of movie stars.
Oh well. Time for an afternoon nap.
On the couch.
