A Name By Any Other Name . . .

By Jim Hagarty
1989

I guess it’s inevitable that once in a while, people’s surnames will relate in some amusing way to their occupations. In fact, I’ve noticed a lot of such cases lately so I’ve started keeping track. Here’s my list so far.

John Field is a farm management specialist who I hear is outstanding in his (don’t embarrass me by making me say it). Garry Lean is an organic farmer who promotes safer meat products, but that’s a thin connection, isn’t it? When John Tory first realized what his name was, he could see no future for himself except as the Conservative Party organizer he is. And Dale Willows climbed to the top of the Guelph-based environmental group Tree Watch and when asked if he’d like to be president of the organization, replied, “I wood.” And he is.

James Coyne was Bank of Canada governor years ago until he was flipped out of the job. George Pond, of Simcoe, is a naturalist and as I understand it, quite a deep man. I wish him well. Raleigh Buckmaster, of Iowa, is a deer rancher. And Joe Pushcart just sort of shoved his way into the job of junkman in Plainsville, Connecticut.

The Quebec cabinet minister who resigned over the province’s French-only sign law last year is named Richard French, or should that be Richard Francois? Barry Player is a Winnipeg guitar player, or at least he picks away at it. And Anne London is a reporter with The London Free Press. Rumor has it she’s worked at other big city newspapers under, various assumed names including Anne Hamilton, Anne Windsor and Anne Toronto. A rising Star.

Mary Beth Peacock is with the Ontario Humane Society so be kind to her and don’t ruffle her feathers and Peggy Green is the leader of a 4-H landscaping club so thumbs up to her too. Andre Bureau is a chief federal bureaucrat with the Canadian Radio Television and Telecommunications Commission but good luck trying to telecommunicate with him.

For some reason, a lot of doctors have names bearing a bit of irony in light of their profession although Drs. Illman, Deadman, Aikenhead, Payne and Death never suffered for business because of their monikers, as far as I know. Either has the Trench funeral home in Listowel or the Box funeral home in Parkhill. A friend of mine regularly hires Flood Plumbing from New Hamburg and is happy with the work they do. Ann Bald does a good hairdressing business in Sebringville, I’ve heard.

Kitchener lawyers Stewart Dollar and Richard Buck both know how to make a living. Dr. W.E. Nurse, a Kitchener obstetrician, is both a doctor and a Nurse so he’s a real team player though confusion sometimes ensues whenever Dr. Nurse is paged over the public address system in the hospital.

Car shot? Call Schott Auto Service in Waterloo or in that same city, try Wheeler Motors. Another dealer.

Next Easter, get your blooming flowers at the Bloomingdale Garden Centre and for cards to mark the occasion, contact Bunny Sicard, public relations co-ordinator for Hallmark greeting cards, Easter promotions.

Whatever your request, she’ll hop right to it.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.