By Jim Hagarty
2012
Please tell me I’m not crazy. But I think I smell a rat.
I took our two cats, Mario and Luigi, for their annual checkup at the vet’s yesterday. Mario is as healthy as a horse and half the size of one. His brother Luigi, however, has a little cyst behind his ear which has been there for two years and never seems to have bothered him. His gums, in places, are a bit reddened. It was recommended that the cyst be removed and sent away for analysis, and that his teeth be cleaned thoroughly. I was told to go to the front desk and await an estimate on this work which would be delivered by a vet’s assistant. I stood there waiting and then heard the printer going. Here it comes.
The vet came out and delivered the quote herself, taking me through each step as though this was the most natural thing in the world and the price was of no concern. All I could think of was the bottom line which read: $1,200.51. That is not a misprint. I was in shock and didn’t hear much of what the vet said. One item stood out, however. It was the standard “dental preventative package”, priced at $399. Now, our dentist cleans the teeth of my family and I for about $90 per set of chompers. How can it cost over four times as much to polish up the teeth of a cat? A cat! We are talking about a cat!
We always had cats on the farm and at one time, their number topped out at 17. If I took all 17 of them to this vet and they all needed what Luigi needs, it would cost $20,408.67. Twice we have been given similar quotes to remove teeth from our poodle Toby. Both quotes were just over $1,000. And this was just to remove one tooth each time. Pull one tooth, that’s all. We managed to talk the clinic down to about $600 a tooth and went ahead with the extractions. Two potential flat screen TVs. Poof. Gone. Just like that.
Meanwhile, my neighbour took her dog to an old country vet for a checkup. He did a thing or two and then remarked how the dog had a tooth that should come out. So he reached in and pulled it out. No extra charge! No anesthetic, no time in a recovery room (really), no blood work.
We love our cats and dog and eight gerbils dearly. I just hope somebody brings them to visit us when we are locked up in the poorhouse. I guess if we are dumb enough to keep going back to this place, we deserve everything we get.
However, this latest quote was like a slap upside the head. I think we have finally woken up and will be moving on down the road to somewhere else. Hopefully there is an animal practice somewhere, anywhere, where you don’t have to bring a Brink’s truck with you to pay the bill. And, oh yeah, today’s examination cost $173.
Sounds cruel, perhaps, but at this stage, we have no plans to de-pimple our cat and clean his teeth.
