Clean as a Whistle

I know I shouldn’t brag, but if you were in my position, I am pretty sure you would too.

I don’t know if anyone other than me can claim to have the
cleanest furnace ducts in Canada, but I do.

For years, duct cleaning companies – there must be hundreds of them – have been calling me a couple times a month, asking if they could come to my house and clean my ducts. I started off getting into little arguments with the callers but finally gave up and moved to a new strategy.

“Hi, I’m Simon and my company can give you a fantastic deal on cleaning your ducts.”

“Sorry, Simon, but we just had them done.”

At first, I used to say we had them cleaned last week, but that seemed like too much of a coincidence and caused my salesmen to question my ability to tell the truth. So, I started using “a few weeks ago” and now have settled on one month.

The words “a month ago” trigger a lot of “clicks” on the other end of the line, no goodbyes offered, which leads me to believe that some duct cleaners can be a little rude and maybe should clean up their acts if not their ducts. But I did get a polite fellow last week who seemed sincere in his hope that my ducts were properly cleaned at a good price.

So, in the past few years, I have had my ducts cleaned a month ago dozens of times.

And I am here to testify, that it is very important to keep your furnace ducts sparkling clean. In fact, I may need to have them done again soon so am hoping for another phone call in the not too distant future.

I hope that polite guy calls back.

©2020 Jim Hagarty

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.