By Jim Hagarty
2006
Today I saw a young man dressed in a black T-shirt with some sort of stylistic eagle on the front and the words MURDER DEATH KILL in large white letters on the back. And I commented to myself on how far T-shirts have come since the innocent days of purple tie-dyed cotton with peace symbols on the front and the word LOVE in big letters on the back.
When did T-shirts cross over the line from fun messages to fighting words, from complaining about parents who visited Florida and brought back only this lousy T-shirt to MURDER DEATH KILL? How much more friendly to see a shirt indicating I’m With Stupid accompanied by an arrow that pointed left or right to where Stupid was walking. Or the shirt I saw a well-endowed young woman wearing a few years ago which boasted, in big letters in the appropriate spots, I May Not Be Perfect But Parts Of Me Are Excellent.
What kind of guy walks into a store, sees a T-shirt emblazoned with MURDER DEATH KILL and says to himself, “Yesiree, I just gotta get me one of them.” And what kind of statement is he trying to make? Does he like murder, death and killing? Does he think there should be more of it? Is he lobbying on behalf of homicide, genocide, suicide?
And, I wonder, how do you talk to a guy in a shirt which is screaming MURDER DEATH KILL? Do you ask him whether he thinks the Leafs have a chance or winning the cup this year? Can you ask him if he liked Seinfeld on Thursday night? Or do you try to find some common ground and express admiration for PJack the Ripper, Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein?
One thing you have to be curious about is whether this guy, who’d be, I’d guess, about 21, has ever witnessed death as it’s occurring, or known anyone who was murdered or who committed suicide. Are MURDER DEATH KILL fine concepts as long as they happen to someone else’s circle of family and friends or would they be welcome in his own?
The truth is probably a lot tamer; maybe he won it at a rock concert or a crazy uncle put it in his stocking last Christmas. For all I know, it’s the name of the new Deadbeat Don and the Blazing Pumpkins’ album. Maybe it’s just his way to attract a bit of attention to himself and he has never once even thought about the concepts he’s carrying around on his back. I can only hope one or all of these possibilities are true.
The other troubling aspect of this young man’s apparel was the context in which it appeared. It was not worn at a rock concert or in a divey bar or at a reunion of Hell’s Angels. It was on the back of a young man at a college where students pay out thousands of dollars per year to carve out a future for themselves in this overcrowded work world. Does MURDER DEATH KILL reflect a commitment to his education, a willingness to get ahead?
Oh, and one other thing. Do police officers give a guy wearing a MURDER DEATH KILL shirt a second glance when they see him on the street? Ah, but that would be censorship, discrimination and persecution, you say.
Okay, okay. Here’s a better solution. I’ll put on my I’m With Stupid shirt and go stand beside the guy, next time I see him. With any luck, he won’t murder, death, kill me.
