It doesn’t hurt my feelings one bit to admit I often lose things and have a dickens of a time finding them. But when it comes to my character flaws, I am always on the lookout for someone who is worse than I am in any given department. It makes me feel good to know I am not as bad as that guy and I can even summon enough of the required hypocrisy to look down on that poor schmoe. I am sure there are healthier ways to feel better about myself but, any old port in a storm.
And so it was that I felt great today to read the news that human bones have been found at the Tower of London. They are estimated to be about 550 years old. You would think that over the course of five and a half centuries, somebody might have tripped over the bones but no, they remained undetected for almost 201,000 days. I have never lost a human being so I can’t really say for sure how long it might take me to find the mysterious missing skeleton but even given how dishevelled and forgetful I have been known to be – I once lost my car for six days – I can’t imagine misplacing a human, especially not for half a millennium.
But check back with me in 550 years, and I might find myself eating my words. Though I might be dead by then and lying somewhere undetected.
©2019 Jim Hagarty
