By Jim Hagarty
2016
It has lost a bit of its beauty as a lot of its leaves have fallen, but I am in love with this harvest maple tree in our backyard. It was a gift from my son and daughter when they were very young. They helped me plant it and now I sit under it in the summer. Maybe someday my grandchildren will climb its branches.
By Jim Hagarty
2016
Humour might seem to others to be my gift. I say that, hopefully not braggingly, because I have won awards for my humour writing and others have told me this.
But to me, humour is my medicine which I have to take many times a day to survive. Precisely because I am too serious about almost everything. I think a lot of “clowns” will tell you the same thing about themselves.
For example, I would like to write long pieces about suicide and I might just do that one of these days. Over the years, I have tried to keep track of the people I have known, some close, some only acquaintances, who have taken their own lives. At last count, that number is nearing 30. That number is higher than many other causes of death that have taken people I have known.
So, when you least expect it, I will drop a serious bomb on you. Maybe I will warn you in the headline. Don’t worry. All that will mean is I haven’t taken my medicine yet that day.
However, I don’t write about things unless I think I have something to contribute to the conversation.
So brace yourselves!
By Jim Hagarty
2016
Here’s something I believe in.
I don’t feel completely stress-free unless I am alone. If there is one other person in my presence, there is stress ranging from very mild to very intense. If there are a lot of people, I can feel almost smothered.
I have told her this so I don’t think she’ll mind me repeating it to you. My wife went away for a weekend with her friends recently. And my son and daughter are away at university. I had the house to myself for the first time in many years. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it. But before too long, I could feel great waves of relaxation sweep over me. I felt no pressure from anyone to talk or to do tasks, not that my wife is a hard taskmaster. Oddly, however, without the (self-imposed) pressure to perform, I actually got a few things done. I even cooked meals for myself, eating out only once.
A friend of mine got divorced years ago. I was surprised when it happened. I thought they made a very good couple. I saw her one day and I asked her what went wrong.
“He never went away,” she said of her husband. “He was always there. I never had a moment to myself.”
Familiarity breeds contempt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Not new concepts, but ones that appeal to me. I have a neighbour who always criticizes me for what she feels is a lack of attention I pay to my marriage. She is free to do that. But sometimes, I think less is more.
I especially believe that when it comes to contact with other human beings.
