Caution: Genius at Work

By Jim Hagarty
2015

Being a genius is not all fun and games. My mind is constantly working, looking for solutions to the world’s ills. This week I was sitting in a drivethrough lineup while a family of eight ordered their meals for the week, when inspiration struck. It strikes me a lot. I have many scars to prove it.

Environmentalists are very concerned about drivethrough restaurants. At any given time on any given day, hundreds of thousands of cars, vans and trucks are sitting in lineups, their engines idling, mufflers spewing crap into the atmosphere. There have been campaigns here and there to ban drivethroughs but the idea of armed insurrections by the villagers if ever a thing was done does not appeal to municipal officials.

Here is what needs to happen. I offer this at no charge to the world. Some clever people will figure out to “monetize” my brainwave.

Install moving driveways at every drivethrough, fancy conveyer belts that would stream all the vehicles in and out of the establishments. Once on the platform, engines could be shut off until the vehicles exit at the other end.

The Inventors’ Hall of Fame, here I come.

Author: Jim Hagarty

I am a 72-year-old retired journalist, busy recovering from a lifelong career as an unretired journalist. This year marks a half century of my scratching out little fables about life. My interests include genealogy, humour and music. I live in a little blue shack in Canada and spend most of my time trying to stay out of trouble. I am not that good at it. I also spent years teaching journalism. Poor state of journalism today: My fault. I have a family I don't deserve, a dog that adores me, and two cars the junk yard refuses to accept. My prized possessions include my old guitar and a razor my Dad gave me when I was 14 and which I still use when I bother to shave. Oh, and my great-great-grandfather's blackthorn stick he brought from Ireland in the 1850s. I have only one opinion but it is a good one: People take too many showers.